Paths

This poem originated with a brutal relationship that tore at my soul. We have all been there; ravaged by a storm called love. My self-esteem was battered but I still clung on to the one who was drowning me.  

In the beginning, I was free; my life was ahead of me. Nothing could hold me back and I stared into the future without fear. Life will confront you eventually, it always does.  

I met my dark angel and it all changed. I fell in love, blind and stupid. I loved you because you wrote with me, spoke with me, drank with me. You fought with me, tortured me, maligned me. I knew I had to forget you when you pushed me away, but you were there, my incubus.  

Now, life is not so simple. I have sucked at your pain and your fear and the lights are not so bright. I have forgotten you, but our paths winds on. 

I used to walk the paths
The straight, the shady, the unknown
That stretched before me step by step
Hour by nameless hour
Where they led I did not care
Time strolled on
Years unfurled in shadow.

Now every path I take is lit
By neon signs that lead to nothing
A thousand winding miles of nothing
Until I arrive at you again
A dead end memory
A mental tic
And hours go by.

I wish I could turn you off
Never think of you again
Burn the pictures in my head
Scribble you out with black pen
But every path I take leads back to you
And the paths wind on.